I’ve had the same recurring dream about once a year for as long as I can remember. It’s always the same exactly. Even the colors are the same each time. I’ve had the dream so long that I hardly pay attention to it these days. Then recently, in my adult years (just turned 22), I’ve thought I should find out the meaning of the dream.

In the dream I am a woman and I’m wearing clothing from the 1800’s. I don’t see myself in the dream unless I look down because I am a part of the dream in first person. When I look down, I can see a long yellow dress. It’s dark around me but there is a moon and it’s full and bright. The green of the grass really stands out as I run on it as fast as I can. I am very afraid of what’s coming after me and I’m trying to outrun it. I don’t dare look back. I can’t slow down. I keep trying, in every dream, to outrun what’s coming for me. The darkness that chases me is a man. He’s wearing clothing of the same time period as me. A dark suit with a cape and a tall black hat with a black velvet band around it. He never quite catches up to me in the dream.

I’ve been practicing astral projection for what seems like is forever and finally had a breakthrough if you can call it that. I’m not sure exactly what happened but it seems like an out of body experience to me. I was doing the phasing technique written about so much on this website. I was floating along looking at the black when I felt myself in my dream being chased by that dark presence in the tall black hat. This time it was so different because I knew what was going on. I knew then what the dream I had had as long as I can remember was all about. I know this is going to sound strange but I felt as if I was both the woman running and the man chasing her at one time. I had the whole perspective. 

In the dream, the woman was me and the man was the proverbial grim reaper. It seems I built myself a “kill switch”, a way to check out of this physical life early if I decide to. I can let the reaper catch me if I want to. I also learned that the kill switch was something I had decided before I came into this physical life. 

After learning through my out of body experience what the dream meant, I don’t think I’ll have the dream any longer. It was the real me trying to get through to the physical me to let me know that I can go home whenever I’m ready. I know absolutely that I have a kill switch but I’m not ready to use it anytime soon.

~ Jillian