By Jeff Finley
If there was ever a shortcut to personal/spiritual growth, feeling your feelings is it. But ironically, avoiding our actual feelings is what gets many of us on the personal growth path in the first place.
We feel bad for whatever reason, so we start looking for ways to feel better. Once we’ve identified the external cause of our suffering, we’ll try anything to eradicate it. Then we might have another awakening where we realize how WE are part of the reason we’re attracting these negative events. So we start trying to change, fix, or improve our thoughts and beliefs to attract better circumstances.
If we’re good and disciplined, we can actually see some results.
But once we have exhausted ourselves on the treadmill of self-improvement, we eventually collapse and realize that we’re not able to get it perfect. We might have fallen off the wagon and got back on dozens of times before we start to wonder why we’re trying so hard in the first place.
The thing that has really helped me lately is the simple act of feeling my feelings and being radically honest with where I’m at. And after that, allowing our spirit/soul/higher self to fill the void and provide solutions that we just aren’t even aware are possible. To open ourselves to miracles. To surrender our struggles to our higher power and admit that we have tried everything and just don’t know what else to do.
It’s after these moments of vulnerability and surrender that I find my reality shifting. I notice that I’m not nearly as triggered by whatever thing it was anymore. That ideas or solutions that I had once ignored start to feel appealing. Or I start being able to notice the good things in my life more than I notice the bad.
So let me take this out of the woo-woo realm and break it down into some practical steps.
It’s going to require truth, love, and awareness. And a powerful resolve to not run away from yourself.
Five Things To Do When You’re Triggered
- Next time you’re triggered, recognize that you are feeling something. Whatever it is, just become aware of it. If you can, go to a private space to lie down or be alone, or with a supportive person. Go inward and bring your attention to the body sensations.
- Release your attachment or identification with the emotion. Realize that it’s just energy in the body and has a reason for being there. The body is extremely intelligent and knows a lot more about what it’s doing than you do. So don’t try to analyze or rationalize. It’s too much work anyway, just let yourself be with the feeling.
- If you feel called to, start expressing your feelings as honestly as you can. It’s best to be in private so you can fully surrender and be as sad, angry, or ashamed as you need to be. To fully take the mask off and let go of your ego. I do this alone with the presence of my source or higher self. Allow yourself to say exactly what is one your mind. Even if you think it makes you petty, lame, stupid, mean, etc. The key is to be honest and vulnerable and real. And hold yourself in unconditional love and acceptance.
- After you have gotten off your chest whatever it is you need to say, keep feeling the feelings. Notice how they move and shift in the body. If there’s any crying or shaking that you need to do, let it happen while loving yourself through. It needs to process itself out.
- You’ll eventually feel like the emotion has run it’s course. Keep being with yourself until you feel like you’re done. When you’re done, get up and do the next thing. Get on with your day.
If you make it a habit to stop trying to analyze or “figure it out” – and just FEEL and BE with your feelings… the act of surrender and letting go will go a long way. When we’re in an anxiety panic or feeling triggered by this or that, the content of our thoughts feel real. But if you can disregard the content and just feel the feelings, you’ll eventually get over whatever it is. Radical honesty, awareness, self love, surrender, and SHOWING UP, are the keys to healing from my experience.
Best of luck on your journey!
~ Jeff Finley