I had a lot of free time as a child. My parents had a lot of demons on their backs and stayed in a world of parties and alcohol. There were always people at our house drunk or high, or both, growing up. My parents just didn’t know how to be parents so they did the minimum. We had what we needed though and we all grew up just fine. 

Before we come into our lifetimes we choose our families. It was no mistake that I had carefully chosen every family member. Had I grown up in a “Beaver Cleaver” kind of family, I may not have become the person I am. I grew up always feeling like I needed an escape route and I created one at a very young age with OBE’s.

We moved often since dad was in the military and there were always new friends to meet. I remember a friend named Nancy when I was about seven years old. We had just moved to a new post and she and her family had only been there a short time too. She and I became fast friends and I found her family fascinating. When I spent the night with them it was so different from my own home. It seemed almost like one of the shows on at the time that were about perfect families. It was different and it was too interesting, not to explore while OB, so I did.

I would go into their house in the evenings every once in a while just so I could see if this seemingly perfect family, was really perfect. The parents spent time with their kids. They even watched television together. In those days most every household had only one TV. They would be sitting there together with blankets enjoying each other’s company. This made me feel sad to want that kind of family so I only did that kind of exploration a few times to see how families lived and there wasn’t much to see anyway.